diff --git a/packages/backend/assets/robots.txt b/packages/backend/assets/robots.txt
index dc17e04e3..f82ad0eda 100644
--- a/packages/backend/assets/robots.txt
+++ b/packages/backend/assets/robots.txt
@@ -1,4 +1,37 @@
 user-agent: *
-allow: /
+disallow: /
 
-# todo: sitemap
+# explicit disallows because some bots are assholes that need that
+
+User-Agent: Googlebot
+Disallow: /
+
+User-Agent: Storebot-Google
+Disallow: /
+
+User-Agent: GoogleOther
+Disallow: /
+
+User-Agent: Google-Extended
+Disallow: /
+
+User-agent: CCBot
+Disallow: /
+
+User-agent: ChatGPT-User
+Disallow: /
+
+User-agent: GPTBot
+Disallow: /
+
+User-agent: Google-Extended
+Disallow: /
+
+User-agent: Omgilibot
+Disallow: /
+
+User-Agent: FacebookBot
+Disallow: /
+
+User-agent: Amazonbot
+Disallow: /